Olivia Joules’ Friends

QotD: XYZPDQ

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:10:25 +0100

Are there any people you would not tell if they had food in their teeth or if their zipper were down? Why or why not?
Submitted by Charms.

There's always embarrassment to be had with telling a man that his trousers are undone. Somehow, though, and I don't know if I'm unusual or if other people simply do not own up to noticing, I always notice. So I'm always the one to say. Which of course raises the question of why I was looking in the first place. I'm glad that someone like my dad doesn't do it as that would be embarrassing.

Incidentally, the reason that I'm answering the strangely named QOTD rather than actually blogging is that I've only got one thing on my mind today: I ate bread for lunch. This is, for me over the past five months, highly unusual and a real treat. And not in the least bit interesting for anyone other than myself. Mm, bread!

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Pedicure

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 21 May 2008 11:57:16 +0100

Someone on the train today wore open-toed sandals and so displayed her french-pedicured toenails. Not only did I not realise that French pedicures existed before then, but it reminded me that I really do have to work out where I've put my transparent nail polish before people start wretching at my feet. I'll bet all of her fingernails didn't look all scraggly and uneven lengths either. Huh, some people.

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Drinking Fluid Courage

nobody@vox.com(eruditebaboon) — Fri, 16 May 2008 11:50:53 +0100

Well the party was a lot of fun, and you will be relieved to hear there was free food and wine (although the savouries had all gone by the time I got there, so I ended up eating about a hundred pieces of cake in an attempt to stop myself getting too drunk. You know, rather than not drinking as much, which would obviously have been impossible). I didn't speak to Philip Pullman, which is probably a good thing, but I did meet a few other comic people which made me feel almost legitimate. I also had a camera poked into my face at one point which caused me to completely lose the ability to talk (you can probably see how terrified I am here). In general it was an excellent experience, and got me really excited about being involved in the whole thing - I just really really really hope that people buy the thing so I can keep drawing comics for them!

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Suggested QOTD

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Fri, 16 May 2008 10:27:47 +0100

Given that every QOTD at the moment seems to be about being rude to people, people being mean to us, things we've done wrong, etc, disappointments, I thought I'd hop on the bandwagon and suggest the following:

"When was the last time you burped?"

I think we've covered social gracelessness quite enough for now and so surely we should move onto bodily forms.

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Fantasy Cave Team

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:23:53 +0100

To to take my mind off of all of this nonsense (basically my entire day) I'd like to introduce something even more nonsensical and to invite contributions, including if you like lists of your own. It's a game we've (Big Boy and I) sort of been playing for quite a while now, and not even when drunk, that you could call Fantasy Cave Team. Like Fantasy Football League, but it has a cave and is about who I'd invite to join me in the unlikely event of the total collapse of civilisation. So get those flint rocks at the ready and think about who to include, if you can be arsed.

On my team:

Big Boy - for the sex, the love, the Adam and Eve-ing, the fact that he's just about the cleverest yet most modest person I know, and the fact that if anyone was going to be my caveman it would be him.

Next, I'd have to bring along my favourite sister (plus her husband and children) not for the fact that she can cook (she can't), has a natural curiosity that would help us succeed (she doesn't), or for any other reason other than that I adore her and wouldn't like to think she'd been snatched from someone else's cave by a lion.

Next (since no one really old can come, and no one so young that they couldn't contribute to our immediate survival) I'll have to start picking from my friends and later from Big Boy's relatives. Next is J, who would bring his natural curiosity and creativity, plus his companionship until I drive him up the wall with my lack of anything useful to contribute personally.

Next we have R, J's boyfriend, and my friend, who would be a good peace-maker, and so delegate to the other caves, cook, and highly effective cleaner.

I think now I might have A, my brother-in-law, who like Big Boy is an egghead, would make just about anything work, and has a very potentially useful PhD in engineering.

Other options are R2, who'd likewise be a very good inter-cave delegate, and who'd probably put his mind to anything like fire or tool making that is needed. P is over in the Netherlands but if he wasn't he'd very good on the team, for much the same reasons. J2 is out (much would I be if I had to choose me) along with most other people.

I might also bring Farmer Sharp from Borough Market to butcher our meats.

I'm getting a bit stuck now and might have to think about Bushtuckerman style celebrities...
This is of course an ongoing project and anyone who thinks they have been unfairly missed out please feel free to say why you'd make a good caveman/cavewoman. Of course I'll need more cavewomen because we don't want the (our) club-wealders getting tetchy. I might also want to recruit a dentist and a medical doctor or at least nurse.

Is it only me who thinks about this?

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I'm totally freaking out

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 13:08:34 +0100

I've just had the boiler fixed. The man's demanding £547 for parts and labour. I've managed to get Big Boy off a conference call to speak to him and I'm totally freaking out. I can't believe this.

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Things that aren't working today

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:31:33 +0100

My boiler. So I can't wash. And so I have to fork out loads of money to get it fixed.

My laptop. Two key functions aren't working on it, including the icons along the bottom which won't show up, and the windows won't flick around like they usually do or even fricking minimise.

So no, not happy so far today. I have been putting off trying to switch on the other computer in case it's not set up properly as I fear. Much more nonsense, and I'm going back to bed.

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QotD: Sensitivity Chip

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:56:26 +0100

What are you most sensitive about?

Is this following on from 'show us your favourite tool' from yesterday?

I'd say about there <points>

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Ooh

nobody@vox.com(Bobble) — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:38:35 +0100

I entered the flat from hell in a competition with one of the leading home mags for their reader home of the month. I found out today I won April's competition.

Lounge / Dining Room / Kitchen (view to balcony and garden)

Habitat vouchers come to me my darlings.

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Vox Hunt: Tool Time

nobody@vox.com(Oink) — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:45:01 +0100

Show us your favorite tool.
Submitted by Maraschino.

Its owner would never let me.

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