What are you most sensitive about?
Is this following on from 'show us your favourite tool' from yesterday?
I'd say about there <points>
Show us your favorite tool.
Submitted by Maraschino.
Its owner would never let me.
Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?
Or it might be nice to ask: has anyone ever done something so good to you that "thanks" wasn't enough?
I'd say yes, quite often, but you can use your imagination to work out what.
A selection of texts from last night:
"OMG - Boris!"
"Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt"
"I'm genuinely in complete shock. Even yesterday I couldn't believe people would actually have voted for him. I'm feeling really depressed."
It's like I've woken up in the 1980s. Only the death of Thatcher could cheer me up today.
Extract of a conversation earlier (I'm getting dressed ready for work):
Big Boy: You're bum's looking really good at the moment. You should see your bum. It's looking more <cups hands>
Me: Thank you. More...?
Big Boy: More shapely. It's got shape now - it sits up there and doesn't just join with your thighs. You should take a look.
Me: <speechless>
Do you believe in ghosts? If so, have you ever seen one?
As I don't believe in an afterlife, and as I am an atheist, no I don't believe in ghosts. I have however met a couple of liars people in my time who claim to have seen/communicated with them. They said a lot of things, though.
Anyone up for it? Badge making, moustache fashioning and knitting - how can you resist?
Guitar man - the David Gray meets James Blunt dickhead who lives in the upstairs flat - played his latest creations this morning. He didn’t start until 10am for a change, but with my late shifts that was far too early. Now I can’t see properly, and it is to be a long day as a consequence.
The moment the first chord was strummed I was awake and unhappy. I dragged myself out of bed, aware that sleep was over, and opened the curtains. It's an absolutely glorious day. I opened my window, then sat up on my window sill to look up at the upstairs flat. Unfortunately the window was closed, so shouting at him wasn’t going to be effective. I will write him a strongly worded letter.
But at least it’s a nice day, and I enjoyed the walk down to the station. My train was full of normal people excited about the gorgeous weather so filled with the inexplicably desire to spend a day on Oxford Street. I was surrounded by Daily Mail readers, all scrutinising articles about how current London Mayor Ken Livingston enjoys secret exotic banquets of the Queen’s swans and halal haribo with terrorists and, worse, asylum seekers, or whatever their latest non-story is.
Then I noticed that on the local Kingston paper I was reading was an advert for Ken’s campaign. It consists of two squares, representing the two plausible choices. And next to the squares read:
DON’T VOTE FOR A JOKE
VOTE FOR LONDON
Then at the bottom: “DON’T RISK
LONDON. VOTE KEN”.
Obviously the majority of political advertising in the past 50 years has been variations on the ‘TIME FOR A CHANGE’ vs. ‘DON’T LET THE OTHER PARTY RUIN EVERYTHING’ messages, but I thought this was a pretty effective one. So I thought I’d do a little experiment – on the tube, I sat holding that page of the paper out, hiding my face, ostensibly for the purpose of reading the story on the other side. Which was about swans, funnily enough.
I watched people’s reactions from the reflection in the glass to the left of me. Most of them looked at it and either looked amused or ashamed, but didn’t say anything. But then a couple got on at Piccadilly Circus, didn’t have much to say to each other, so eventually the conversation turned to the paper I was increasingly obviously holding up for political purposes. The guy was about twenty, and was wearing a red rugby shirt.
“I’m gonna vote Boris”, he said. My heart sank in an unsurprised fashion. Rugby fan in 'votes Tory' shocker.
“Why are you going to vote for a joke?”, replied his girlfriend. The tone of her voice indicated not that she had balanced up the various pros and cons of the candidates and had come to the measured conclusion that Johnson is lacking in actual policy, but that she hadn’t really heard of either of them and just wanted to mock her boyfriend.
“Cos Ken’s crap”, he said. Then he went on to explain in a paternal and patronising tone why Boris was the right candidate. It was a collection of half-remembered and mangled election soundbites, but basically what it came down to was: Boris is going to bring the Routemasters back.
Basically, we’re doomed.
I have been alerted by the other half that Sky One are doing a remake of Blake's 7.
Our morally ambivalent anti-hero Avon was played by Paul Darrow; my Mum thought he was hot.
M and I have often said that if there was a remake that James Purefoy should play Avon. I pray that Sky One are listening.